Being Present When Spending Time With Friends…
It took me many years to realize about my habits when I’m socializing, how sometimes I think about what time I’ll leave the party shortly after I have arrived. Being Present When Spending Time With Friends… something I had to work on, Something I still work on when I feel myself not wanting to be where I willingly agreed to be, for as long as I said I would be there….the problem is not being in the now, how to solve it is to become aware that your doing it.
A friend pointed out a few years back that I would never commit to the full plan in play. There was a birthday in Laguna and it was planned for the whole weekend. But I arrived full of thoughts of when I could run back to my comfy life. I became consumed with the best way to let everyone know that I would only be there Friday night and would have to bow out for night two. After all, I had two small kids who needed me and a husband and two dogs. How will they all survive without me?
I drove home half pleased with myself that I had successfully “escaped” all the fun, massages, sushi, and other great plans, not to mention girlfriend bonding that the others were still enjoying back at the beach.The other half felt crappy I left and wished I hadn’t. When I arrived at home I was met with my sons fighting, a very messy house and a pile of laundry. As I picked up all the dog-poop that waited for my return, I noted to myself Why couldn’t I have stayed and enjoyed the rest of the celebration?
One night at a friends house right around the corner from my home, I walked in assessing I would just stay an hour and sneak out. My girlfriend sandy was there and I watched her settle in to her chair with her red wine. She kicked off her shoes and looked like she wouldn’t trade to be anywhere else in the world. She chatted with friends and laughed out loud with no intention to leave until she was good and ready. Or kicked out…whatever came first.
I decided to go against my natural habit of fleeing, I dragged a seat over next to Sandy, I kicked off my shoes and settled in. I stayed till 1am, and had such a great time. I made the shift to be patient, and present and in that moment to connect with these people who are with me. I learned a lot about them, we shared intimate stories and connected on a way deeper level than usual.
It was a great evening, with a wonderful lesson on living each moment in the now…….It was a new experience of allowing myself to do what I wanted. My sons were fine without me for a few hours, my husband bragged he got a bunch of work done on the computer….the dogs were ok too. All was good at home…..despite my ideas that life would crumble without me.
Be open to change…..there’s always room for improving the quirky behaviors that are limiting us in our everyday lives. If we are always waiting to get to the next place, we are never really enjoying the only thing we have right now…..the present moment.